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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/14/2008 8:46:02 AM
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3cappuccinosmom
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We went into marriage with a moral opposition to birth control, so the assumption was we'd probably end up starting a family fairly quickly (we did, first son born 9 months after the wedding  ). We also believe that whatever children God gives us, He makes a way for them.
So we didn't spend several years financially planning specifically for having children. Instead, before we even met each other we had several things on our list of "musts" for a spouse--super work ethic, willingness to be extremely frugal, etc. I had savings from before marriage, which we ended up living on for a while as we adjusted to life in the States. Josiah has been willing to do anything to feed our family and let me be a stay-at-home mom--he did factory work, carpet cleaning, pizza delivery, etc. He finally got a stable job with a liveable income 3 years into our marriage. My part has been saving money in any way possible.  And now supporting and helping dh any way I can building his business. We have had 3 children in 6 years and have more money and financial stability than we did when we started out with no children. 
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/14/2008 10:42:21 AM
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NoShow
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I was 36 when my wife and I got married almost 39 when our child was born. So financially, we were very ready.
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/14/2008 11:30:25 AM
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P31W
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quote:
If you have kids, did you and your spouse actively plan for it? If you want kids and don't make enough financially to do so (meeting basic needs and basic wants), will you actively plan to do so that you can afford to have them? I am curious about this. Some people want kids enough to just trust in G-d that things will get financially better once they have them. I know that some people didn't plan on getting pregnant but they did. That's not what I am talking about. I am talking more in the lines of free will.
Yes we did. We knew that we wanted for me to be able to stay at home and work. We knew that we needed to be able to live off just what he could earn and have enough left over each week to put into savings. I have to mention this even though for us it was a no brainer. We knew that medical insurance was a basic necessity for all of us and we knew that medical cost would occur even with a healty child - so we planned for that. We also knew that we wanted to one day build a home and put our child/ren in a private school. So we planned for these things and actively sacrificed and worked to insure we were not commiting a sin of demanding that God act in a certain way.
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/14/2008 4:34:00 PM
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kernsfamily
Posts: 1428
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From: Dallas (originally Detroit)
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The most important thing we did to "financially plan", with regards to having children, was to be at a point that once we started having kids, my wife could quit working and be a "stay at home mom"...
My salary at the time, in 1999, was only $30,000. So, that was a big 'leap of faith', since we had been in our new home for only a little over a year.....our finances were STRETCHED..
but, adjusting our "expenditures" THEN, from Day 1, only made going forward easier....as I gradually earned a higher income....(which, today, is far and away more than I could have ever dreamed of, when I started off in my career)
Today...even though all 3 of the kids are in school, my wife is still a "SAHM", and volunteers at school and church quite a bit....as well as running the household (grocery shopping, mail, most of the laundry, errands, etc..etc..)....Yeah, I sound like a real "slave driver", huh? She wouldn't trade it for the world....oh, and I DO NOT have her mowing the yard (so, don't let her convince you otherwise!!!!)....we've "outsourced" that task....nor, does she have to do any ironing...
quote:
We can't afford to right now but I am sure that when the time is right
you may THINK that you can't "afford" it now...but, the same as the situation was when my wife started her "new career" as a SAHM, God always helps you find a way to make it work. We sure didn't think we could make it on my measly income....but, as we became friends with so many people in our "new marrieds" class at church, we soon learned that being a "SAHM" was more the "rule" than the exception. SO, regardless of the "detractors" and "naysayers", we simply said, "We've prayed about it....and, if everyone else we know can do it, so can we".....and, the rest is history.....
_____________________________
Proud dad of 3 great girls....Erin, Emilie and Elise
Blessed to have all of them in a "totally awesome" public elementary school!
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/18/2008 1:52:45 PM
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P31W
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quote:
I hope this wasn't directed at me, but just in case, I would like to clarify something
I do not know anything about you. LOL
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/18/2008 1:56:02 PM
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P31W
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quote:
P31, I am sure it wasn't directed to you hun. But there are people out there who do do that..not only from G-d but from other people as well.
I know wayyy too many people who use God as an excuse to have a baby when they know full well they just want one and don't want to do the work required to provide for one. I have had more than one confrontation with a young couple with a "God will provide" attitude but forget the part of scripture where God said "six days shalt thou work'......that's what I remind them of.
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/18/2008 3:30:11 PM
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Auben
Posts: 1605
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From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
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Honestly, I think it has less to do with how much money you make and more to do with the lifestyle you want to have.
I've known people have a baby on 1 income of $20,000/year (in a metropolitan area). It was difficult but the wife even stayed home on that money. God provided a job and they did the rest. They both have fond memories of those years.
I've known people that make 2-4x that amount who tell me they don't make enough money to have a child.
Obviously there are people all over the world who manage to have children on far less then what we have in this country, and manage to feed and clothe and educate them. Does this mean they are 'forcing' God's providence? I personally don't find that to be a Biblical statement and would welcome some scriptures to reference on the subject.
I think it all breaks down to your comfort zone. Are you comfortable making some sacrifices at your current level of income? If not, pray about it and wait for God's answer. Sometimes He calls you to leave your comfort zone and sometimes He brings you to a better place.
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~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/18/2008 5:08:33 PM
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jod78
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I never found infants to be all that expensive. THey CAN be, but they don't have to be. The kicker to me is medical. Good health insurance is a necessity. If you don't have that (or a LOT of cash), you probably should think twice. As far as food, clothing, etc, etc, I didn't find it to be all that expensive, especially if breast feeding. Never bothered spending much money on clothing that is outgrown in a matter of months and gets food and everything else imaginable all over it. Now when they start getting older...things can start getting expensive.
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/19/2008 7:37:23 AM
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P31W
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quote:
Does this mean they are 'forcing' God's providence? I personally don't find that to be a Biblical statement and would welcome some scriptures to reference on the subject.
Pr 24:27
Finish your outdoor work and get your fields ready; after that, build your house.
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/19/2008 7:41:23 AM
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P31W
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quote:
I have never met any person who trusts the Lord for family planning and sits at home on their bum refusing to work.
Nor anyone who used that as an excuse to go on welfare, though I know people who have deliberately had children to stay on welfare, they're quite honest about it. No shame at all. And they're not Christian. \\
If you ever come to Mississippi drop me a line. I will show you multi-generational familes who say they are trusting God for their family planning all the while saying they are Christians and "not" making any plans to EVER get off welfare or any other charitable programs the churches here will give out to them. They will argue you down that "welfare" and "chairty" is "how" God is providing for them.
It's so bad here and we have been so burned by the Katrina New Orleans folks that our Chruches have decided to "force" anyone who wants help more than three times per year to go though a financial training class. I have been asked to help put together the program and start it. I have prayed about it and turned them down. We have a great need here for this type of biblical educational program. It is such a great problem that I told them I believe we are going to need to "hire someone fulltime" to work on this problem not just rely on volunteers to run this new program.
The need for this is not just "my opinion" or "my observation" rather it's the opinion of hundreds of Christians in my area who work with these types of people on a daily basis. I believe there is a group represented from all the major religious demominations in our area that help make up this group. We are seeing the problem because "we" are the ones who work and sacrifice our own time and money to try to meet the needs of these "Christian people's children, parents and themselves". We know their lifestyle choice and their mindset.
< Message edited by P31W -- 11/19/2008 7:51:44 AM >
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/19/2008 8:38:35 AM
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P31W
Posts: 2942
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The passage is about order. We serve a God of order.
I have run across too many people on just "this forum" who say they have children and are "trying' to get an eduation or job skills so they can get a job to provide for those children.
quote:
If "ready" is defined as a nice, comfortable, completely stable life on par with American middle-class,
Ready for me --- concerning starting or expanding a family ---would mean that I have done what is necessary to provide for the basic needs of my family without having to ask for a handout. That I care enough about those whom I am about to bring into this world to do the necessary prep work to ensure they had food in the bellies, warm cloths on their backs, roof over their head and for me reasonable medical care.
Speaking only for myself now and not scripture for "me" it's extemely unloving "not" to do those things for my own child that I plan to produce when I "chose" to have intercourse. Nor is it loving of a man to ask a woman to be his wife he "if" did not first plan to somehow be able to provide for her and a baby they may produce.
< Message edited by P31W -- 11/19/2008 9:46:43 AM >
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/19/2008 2:08:50 PM
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reach
Posts: 1360
Joined: 4/12/2005
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We have a house, so in the measure we are ready for kids, but our big thing is insurance. It would take a huge chunk or money out of my husbands income to pay for himself and family. ($800 a month)
I can get a job and get insurance for way less, so it looks like I will have to work, at least until my husband gets his promotion.
We were supposed to start trying in Oct, but I had not secured a job yet. So we are waiting until April. But at that point, we are going to try. As I am learning, I seem to have a plan of how things will work out, but God many times wants me to learn something. So it might take living on faith and stepping out and doing something that may not be set up perfectly for me. It is way out of my comfort zone, and I have not problem with doing whatever it takes to be able to make it. It may mean taking a job at home (I already have a friend that said I can watch her kids if I stay home). My husband and I are pretty frugal, but I know that we would be able to tighten up and do better. Maybe it means we don't get cell phones, and gym memberships, but we will cut what needs to be cut. And know that God will provide where we lack. But it does not mean that we can't use certain things like food banks, or wic while we need it. As far as I am concerned, I have worked my whole life, so I paid into it, why can't I, or others benefit from the programs that my tax money supports? I am not planning on being on welfare, but when the time comes, I will take the benefit and use it while I have a need. Just as I take unemployment while I am not working.
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RE: Financially planning for children - 11/19/2008 2:19:58 PM
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stellaluna
Posts: 4409
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: P31W
The passage is about order. We serve a God of order.
I have run across too many people on just "this forum" who say they have children and are "trying' to get an eduation or job skills so they can get a job to provide for those children.
quote:
If "ready" is defined as a nice, comfortable, completely stable life on par with American middle-class,
Ready for me --- concerning starting or expanding a family ---would mean that I have done what is necessary to provide for the basic needs of my family without having to ask for a handout. That I care enough about those whom I am about to bring into this world to do the necessary prep work to ensure they had food in the bellies, warm cloths on their backs, roof over their head and for me reasonable medical care.
I pretty much agree with this.
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