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HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/5/2008 7:59:04 PM
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Rememberance
Posts: 3
Joined: 11/5/2008
Status: offline
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Different views and different hearts, complications happening between me and my mother, over a boy. Yes, one of those long sappy stories about teen 'love' and loss, and the ever so often butting of heads between mother and daughter. But to be more specific, I have a friend who's name will be kept between me, myself, and I, who's brother who I had just been forced to break up with because of aged difference, and so called 'respect issues'. To draw out the story for you, I went to my friends house on a Friday night and we met, he had fallen for me a little while back but I was still apprehensive to him. I was bugged repeatedly about going out with him by friends until I finally came to an agreement with myself. I would go out with him that night and if I liked him, I would consider going out with him. Well I did go out with him that night and I really enjoyed it, and I told him he would be a good boyfriend. Later the next day obviously he had taken those words to heart because he held my hand as soon as I came down to their house. I didn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him we weren't really going out, plus the fact that I did kind of want to go out with him, so I did end up going out with him. As it turns out he was sixteen and I'm fourteen, which I didn't find to be a big deal, it was just two years and I had gone out with a seventeen year old before (Turned out it wasn't much of a relationship and broke up with him about three days after going out) but it was to my mom. I tried explaining that I was going out with him to her, so I told my mom that he had asked me out, immediately I got the crazy eyes and the WELL WHAT DID YOU SAY? At that point I was ready to run away, just the way she had reacted to that scared the wits out of me, so I figured I would wait tell her. The few days I had gone out with him (About 4 or 5) were great but between those days I found he was very clingy, he would hold my hand, cuttle with me, and even give me a small kiss every few minutes, and he was starting to annoy me with how fast he was taking our relationship after we had just started going out, and I was going to talk to him today when I got home from school, to bad I never got the chance... My mother had found out I was going out with him from a chatty-Cathy neighbor and I was forced to break up with him just a few hours later, because she said he wasn't respecting me. I've been crying ever since, and in truth I didn't think I would be this upset, but now that I am it really stinks. So any advice? Comments? What should I do, I do want to still go out with him!
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/5/2008 8:01:21 PM
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Rememberance
Posts: 3
Joined: 11/5/2008
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I really just want some advice at this point, me and my family are not quite as close to god as we should be and for that I am ashamed, but as for people that can help me and respect me at the same time, I figured this would be the best place to come.
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/5/2008 8:17:46 PM
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Konstantinos
Posts: 4970
Joined: 4/14/2005
From: Greece Thessaloniki
Status: offline
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what do you want from a relationship?
_____________________________
i can pick you up off the floor and put you over my head
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/5/2008 8:38:48 PM
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Rememberance
Posts: 3
Joined: 11/5/2008
Status: offline
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I want somone who likes me and Somone who I like back. It's hard though, when I didn't think I liked him that much I ended up crying for a few hours. My eyes still hurt and sting a bit.
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/5/2008 9:31:33 PM
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jonfortean6
Posts: 1232
Joined: 9/16/2008
From: Pennsylvania
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First of all, welcome to the forums!
Well, I read your post and my heart goes out to you. But I wonder if a more-than-friends relationship is what you really need right now.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Rememberance
I want somone who likes me and Somone who I like back. It's hard though, when I didn't think I liked him that much I ended up crying for a few hours. My eyes still hurt and sting a bit.
Is it just that you want someone who likes you? Because if you are just looking for a friendship, they're are plenty of people who love you for who you are, and who want a genuine friendship with you. Even if you don't have personal friends like that, you'll certainly find some on here.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem like you're quite at the age where you are ready to start looking for a husband. Don't worry, I'm not either, lol. But I don't really see how this relationship is going to be fruitful, because there isn't really a point to it. Why are you dating? Just to say that you have a date? That's not really a good reason to have a boyfriend.
And to be honest, from reading your description of the guy, I'm not really impressed by him- his character and maturity I mean. It seems that he is too physically intimate with you, and he's doing things that a 16 year-old guy shouldn't be doing outside of a serious relationship- or i'll take it a step further- outside of marriage. Do you know what his relationship with the Lord is like?
I know I'm just a fool. I can't even comprehend what you are going through because I have never been in a situation like you are in now. But you really have to look at what God wants for your life. And if this relationship doesn't fit with his will, I only have one question for you:
How fast can you run?
_____________________________
Pray. A lot.
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/6/2008 12:59:08 PM
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rae_of_light
Posts: 3050
Joined: 2/15/2007
From: The true North strong and free!
Status: offline
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I don't think you're going to want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyways, cuz that's just how I roll.
In the Bible, the fifth commandment is "Honor thy father and thy mother." That commandment is also the first one to have a promise, if you do this, it will go well with you!! Right now you may think your mum is being unreasonable, but she is your authority, and you as a young person must respect her and follow her instructions. And don't worry, God has a plan for you! Chances are, this guy's not the one you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life. There is a guy out there for you, and God will work everything out for you to be with that guy in His perfect time. All things work together for good for those who love Him.
I know what it's like to want to feel loved and special. But if you can place these desires in the Lord's hand, and depend on Him for every need, it is much much more fulfilling and lasting!!
_____________________________
I don't need to swear to get my point across
I don't have to change who I am to be cool
I don't have to drink to have a good time
...And you're asking me what MY problem is?
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/6/2008 4:50:51 PM
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GuitarHero_J.C
Posts: 416
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Tornado ally Kansas.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rae_of_light
I don't think you're going to want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyways, cuz that's just how I roll.
In the Bible, the fifth commandment is "Honor thy father and thy mother." That commandment is also the first one to have a promise, if you do this, it will go well with you!! Right now you may think your mum is being unreasonable, but she is your authority, and you as a young person must respect her and follow her instructions. And don't worry, God has a plan for you! Chances are, this guy's not the one you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life. There is a guy out there for you, and God will work everything out for you to be with that guy in His perfect time. All things work together for good for those who love Him.
I know what it's like to want to feel loved and special. But if you can place these desires in the Lord's hand, and depend on Him for every need, it is much much more fulfilling and lasting!!
I'll agree with this.
No one person is worth losing your relationship with your parents. And the worst mistake anyone can make is disregarding God's word.
_____________________________
Rock and Roll ain't noise pollution.
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/6/2008 4:52:54 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2884
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GuitarHero_J.C
quote:
ORIGINAL: rae_of_light
I don't think you're going to want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyways, cuz that's just how I roll.
In the Bible, the fifth commandment is "Honor thy father and thy mother." That commandment is also the first one to have a promise, if you do this, it will go well with you!! Right now you may think your mum is being unreasonable, but she is your authority, and you as a young person must respect her and follow her instructions. And don't worry, God has a plan for you! Chances are, this guy's not the one you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life. There is a guy out there for you, and God will work everything out for you to be with that guy in His perfect time. All things work together for good for those who love Him.
I know what it's like to want to feel loved and special. But if you can place these desires in the Lord's hand, and depend on Him for every need, it is much much more fulfilling and lasting!!
I'll agree with this.
No one person is worth losing your relationship with your parents. And the worst mistake anyone can make is disregarding God's word.
I agree with all of this, especially that in bold! I almost lost my relationship with my Dad over a guy and let me tell you, if I could do it all over I would! Parents are much smarter than we think they are sometimes!!!
_____________________________
"The memories erased...Baby, that's the BEAUTY of GRACE!"
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/6/2008 4:54:58 PM
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violinist_for_jesus
Posts: 1992
Joined: 4/20/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
quote:
ORIGINAL: GuitarHero_J.C
quote:
ORIGINAL: rae_of_light
I don't think you're going to want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyways, cuz that's just how I roll.
In the Bible, the fifth commandment is "Honor thy father and thy mother." That commandment is also the first one to have a promise, if you do this, it will go well with you!! Right now you may think your mum is being unreasonable, but she is your authority, and you as a young person must respect her and follow her instructions. And don't worry, God has a plan for you! Chances are, this guy's not the one you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life. There is a guy out there for you, and God will work everything out for you to be with that guy in His perfect time. All things work together for good for those who love Him.
I know what it's like to want to feel loved and special. But if you can place these desires in the Lord's hand, and depend on Him for every need, it is much much more fulfilling and lasting!!
I'll agree with this.
No one person is worth losing your relationship with your parents. And the worst mistake anyone can make is disregarding God's word.
I agree with all of this, especially that in bold! I almost lost my relationship with my Dad over a guy and let me tell you, if I could do it all over I would! Parents are much smarter than we think they are sometimes!!!
Seconded.
_____________________________
Zachary/19
http://www.myspace.com/zacharygraft
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/6/2008 5:07:17 PM
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GuitarHero_J.C
Posts: 416
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Tornado ally Kansas.
Status: offline
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My parents are my world. Without them I don't know where I would be.
_____________________________
Rock and Roll ain't noise pollution.
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/6/2008 5:13:27 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2884
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GuitarHero_J.C
My parents are my world. Without them I don't know where I would be.
AMEN! Same here dude!
_____________________________
"The memories erased...Baby, that's the BEAUTY of GRACE!"
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/6/2008 5:22:52 PM
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violinist_for_jesus
Posts: 1992
Joined: 4/20/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GuitarHero_J.C
My parents are my world. Without them I don't know where I would be.
Well....without them, you wouldn't be here.
_____________________________
Zachary/19
http://www.myspace.com/zacharygraft
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RE: HeadAch and HeartBreak - 11/6/2008 6:06:00 PM
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jonfortean6
Posts: 1232
Joined: 9/16/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
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quote:
In the Bible, the fifth commandment is "Honor thy father and thy mother." That commandment is also the first one to have a promise, if you do this, it will go well with you!! Right now you may think your mum is being unreasonable, but she is your authority, and you as a young person must respect her and follow her instructions. And don't worry, God has a plan for you! Chances are, this guy's not the one you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life. There is a guy out there for you, and God will work everything out for you to be with that guy in His perfect time. All things work together for good for those who love Him.
I know what it's like to want to feel loved and special. But if you can place these desires in the Lord's hand, and depend on Him for every need, it is much much more fulfilling and lasting!!
^ The most important part about the whole situation.
_____________________________
Pray. A lot.
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