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My dad was complaining because the extender hit him in the face, or so he says. He started yelling. "Why does she have this stupid thing anyway? There against the law!" I said "Because the visor isn't enough and the sun is in her eyes!" He says "Why doesn't she wear sunglasses then?" I said "She does. It's not enough!" He said "She shouldn't have this! It's against the law!" That's how it went on our way to church. He could have taken it off and given it to me to hold or put it in the back seat if he didn't want to use it and it was hitting him in the face. He could have put it up. He didn't go either,

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What should I have done?

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When I got home, I told her what happened. He got mad because he said I told on him.

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Should I have said sorry anyway?

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ORIGINAL: myhusbandswife76

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My dad was complaining because the extender hit him in the face, or so he says. He started yelling. "Why does she have this stupid thing anyway? There against the law!" I said "Because the visor isn't enough and the sun is in her eyes!" He says "Why doesn't she wear sunglasses then?" I said "She does. It's not enough!" He said "She shouldn't have this! It's against the law!" That's how it went on our way to church. He could have taken it off and given it to me to hold or put it in the back seat if he didn't want to use it and it was hitting him in the face. He could have put it up. He didn't go either,

And you could have just kept quiet, and said nothing.

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What should I have done?

Said nothing. From his first comment, he wasn't talking to you. He was just making a statement.

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When I got home, I told her what happened. He got mad because he said I told on him.

You did. You were stirring the pot for no reason. That may not have been your intention, but that's what you did.

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Should I have said sorry anyway?

Yes.

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ORIGINAL: EclecticJoy
Gail, may I ask your age?

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ORIGINAL: luvsrickforever

I was reading what you guys all said and what I wrote and boy, do I sound like a rotten child and believe me, I am not. It upsets me that my dad is depressed and that I don't know what to do about it. I live at home at 55 because I can't afford to live anywhere else right now. I help out a lot. I do the laundry, the dishes that can't go in the dishwasher, the cooking, etc. I am not one of those children who sleeps all day and won't get a job and drinks and does drugs. I guess it just surprised me that he was yelling at me.

Yes, I could have removed the extended sun visor and that is probably what I should have done. I just can't figure out where he heard they were illegal. I bought it from Miles Kimball and they have been around forever, so I know they would never sell anything illegal.

It's so hard to see my dad like this. When he was on his meds, like I said, he was wonderful. He was like his old self and he couldn't drink. It was in big letters on his meds and he hasn't had a drink since Oct. which is good. I forgot, he had one at a restaurant and he did what he always does, asked my mom if he could have one at the restaurant. What is she gonna do, make a scene? He was off of his meds for a week or 2 he said. She told him only one. Then he had something he hasn't had in I don't know how long, a glass of water! He drinks down our cellar and hides it. I usually find it. Water? What's that? He never drinks it. Sometimes he has 2 or 3 cans of soda a day, Coke. He also doesn't drink milk.

He baths or showers every 2 weeks if that. He never changes his underwear or socks unless my mom can get them when he is in the shower or bath and change them. He doesn't feel he needs to because he doesn't sweat or get dirty. He doesn't use deodorant or anything on his under arms. A lot of times he smells. He says if we tell him about it, we are treating him like a baby and he knows what he has to do. He does brush his teeth, at least I think so. I know all of these are signs of depression.

I'm just so worried about his health. So is my mom. My middle sister says he's depressed because he's 86 and what does he have to live for except for death? She says he must know he's going to die soon, not because he is physically sick like with Cancer but because he's 86. She says a lot of his friends have died, which they have and that is depressing him. She says we don't talk to him enough and that we don't do. I guess besides the fact that we don't like the same things he does like sports which he suddenly has on all the time when before he didn't watch them hardly at all, it's because he can't hear and when we talk to him, we have to repeat things 3 or 4 times. When a game or his favorite TV show is on, we can't talk at all or he tells us to be quiet. It's hard to talk to him.

Sometimes I think the Devil is in our house and causing all this. I pray every night for my dad and my family. I love my mom and dad more than I can even tell you.

One more thing. I can't drive. There are lots of reasons but sometimes I have double vision. They call it an astigmatism and I never know when I will have it. I have floaters which are supposed to go away but they haven't. I am very short and would need one of those cars that handicapped people have because I can't reach anything or see behind me or on the sides. You don't want me on the road. My dad is a good driver and he likes to drive. If we ever have to take his license away, I don't know what he will do, because sometimes he feels useless now that he retired. He doesn't want to do anything but he will drive anybody anywhere. I can also take city buses and walk places or take taxis and I have. I also pay for gas and other things.

I hope I haven't rambled and that you guys can now understand what is going on in my house. I will not let the devil win!

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My middle sister says he's depressed because he's 86 and what does he have to live for except for death? She says he must know he's going to die soon, not because he is physically sick like with Cancer but because he's 86. She says a lot of his friends have died, which they have and that is depressing him. She says we don't talk to him enough and that we don't do.

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ORIGINAL: luvsrickforever

SecretGarden, you did not hurt my feelings. At first I thought you did, but when I read it back, I realized how I sounded. Its hard when you write to see how a person feels because sometimes words just don't do it, but then again, sometimes you can't tell by seeing someone see you either. I knew what you meant.

Hey, tonight my dad took a shower and the other day I found his underwear in the hamper and my mom didn't put them there! Progress! LOL I know my mom was happy.

I am trying to ignore his crotchety-ness and I do know that when I get to be that age, I will probably be the same. I have to say I saw this on a tee shirt and it made me laugh. It relates to this situation. "Be kind to your children for they will pick out your nursing home."